I’ve had a particularly hard life. I grew up in poverty and experienced trauma at an early age.
I had to fight, and work hard, and earn for everything I have. I bootstrapped my life and my success.
My life story has taught me life is hard, and it’s true, life IS hard. But what if life is easy? What if life is both? Life is hard and life is easy.
As a lifelong bootstrapper I tend to approach all situations with great effort. I believe life is hard and so it is.
Sometimes life is genuinely hard. Sometimes the odds are stacked against you. Sometimes you’ve got to put on your big girl pants, knuckle down, and do some hard stuff.
The thing is, I’ve recently discovered that approaching every situation with that sense of toughness makes my experience of every situation a lot tougher!
If I believe life is hard, I gather my strength and my courage and tackle problems in head-on. This approach can lead to overlooking simpler and easier solutions and outcomes, including asking for help, clarifying expectations, or negotiating terms.
My choice to stop believing work and life are hard
Years ago before I started this blog, I was on the edge of burnout. I worked so hard at everything I did that my health and happiness suffered. I remember one time in particular that I was faced with a challenge at work and I was prepared to bootstrap my efforts to deal with the situation.
A co-worker was planning a 3-week vacation during our busiest season. I began to prepare myself to work 50+ weeks to meet all our deadlines and get he work done while she was away.
Then I made a choice not to kill myself over a job. This was not a life or death situation. I chose to stop taking work so seriously.
Instead of assuming the only possible solution was for me to work too hard, I decided to brainstorm my options. I made a list of all the possible ways I could handle the situation, from the unreasonable (run away to a foreign country, or work myself to death) to some easier options (ask for help, or set boundaries).
What I chose to do was send an email to my boss, letting him know I would be unable to do all the work and meet all the deadlines alone. I proposed two solutions and asked my boss to decide which option he preferred.
Option 1 was to miss our deadlines and pay associated fines and penalties.
Option 2 was to hire a temp to cover the staff shortage.
Instead of approaching the situation as if life is hard, and I have to work hard, I approached the situation with ease.
Which option did my boss choose? Well, he decided to tell my co-worker her 3-week vacation was not approved during our busiest time of the year, and asked her to move her trip a few weeks before or after the time she requested off.
What if life is easy?
So what if life is easy? Where can you find more ease in all you do? Where can you create more ease?
Instead of following your old habits, old beliefs, and old patterns, what if you challenged the idea that life is hard and, instead, you chose to follow the ease?
Here are some ways life may be easier than you think:
- You ask clarifying questions.
- You openly discuss a conflict with someone and, together, you come up with a solution.
- You question your assumptions and check your expectations.
- You stop taking work so seriously.
- You stop taking life too seriously.
- You set boundaries.
- You say no.
- You ask for help.
- You give yourself a break.
- You give others a break.
- You forgive.
- You let go.
- You give up.
- You negotiate and/or renegotiate terms.
- You ask for what you want.
- You surround yourself with people who support you.
- You get started, instead of making excuses or avoiding.
- You practice gratitude.
- You do your best and forget the rest.
Life is hard, and it is easy. Stop making life harder than it needs to be. Start creating more ease.