How To Build Confidence

Posted by on Jan 18, 2013 in Personal Development | 4 comments

Confidence is everything. Confidence builds trust. Confidence informs good decision-making. Confidence leads to success!

Lack of healthy self confidence holds us back from making the best of our lives and ourselves. Don’t let insecurity get between you and a happy, fulfilling, intentional life!

One day I met a successful business woman that was clearly intelligent but her words belied her competence and skills. In the course of our conversation she apologized several times, though she had not misspoken or erred. She used hedging language like “I think” and “I believe” when talking about her professional expertise. Her sentences ended on a high note as if asking a question instead of making a statement.

Here I was, having a conversation with an accomplished woman that clearly lacked confidence. The exchange made me reflect on my own past insecurities. When I started in the working world, I didn’t have much self confidence. I was terrified of making mistakes and I didn’t believe in myself. I knew I was good at some things, but I didn’t believe I was good enough.

It wasn’t enough for me to just stumble through my life- I chose to make the best life. I worked on building my confidence and here I am today- confident, capable, and kick-ass!

How To Build Confidence

Take a deep breath

Confident people are cool, calm, and collected so take a moment and collect yourself. If you’ve got an important meeting or conversation, take a deep breath before you speak. Stand or sit tall. Fill your lungs and send all that good oxygen to your brain.


Smiling puts others at ease. The more the people around you are easy-going, the more you’ll feel at ease, too. It’s an awesome example of getting what you give!

Fake it till you make it

If you don’t feel confident you can fake it till you make it. The more you practice confidence, the more confident you feel. Keep practicing until you get there!

Speak confidently

We all have poor speaking habits that get in the way of our inner awesome shining through. Watch out for hedging language, stopping and starting, crutch words, nervous fiddling, and turning statements into questions.

You can create great speaking habits and build confidence in Toastmasters.

Do your best

When you do your best each and every day you get better and better at whatever you do. Get really good at something you enjoy and be your best!

Stop comparing yourself to others

When you compare yourself to others, you sell yourself short. This is your life, not anyone else’s. Live it, love it, make it great!

Believe in yourself

Confidence isn’t about what you can do but what you believe you can do. You’ve got mad skills! You kick ass! Believe in you!

You rock! Yes, you!Photo Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

If that’s not enough tips for building confidence, here are even more ways to build self esteem!


I love your comments! Are you confident? If not, what’s holding you back?


  1. Hi Chrysta,

    I strongly feel, the matter of confidence comes with a bit of success. The key point in attaining such would be to have a bit of grip in what you are trying to achieve. And in case if your unsuccessful repeatedly, the best way would be to take a break for sometime and do something in which you feel more confident to give yourself a boost and then again be back in the old business again.

    • Thanks for your awesome comment, Anubhab!

      You bring up a good point and I love your suggestion to find something- anything- you can do and do that to help you build up your confidence- especially if you’ve had difficulty with success in another area.

      I have also found that confidence comes not only when I do something well, but when I do something at all. In Toastmasters we get up and speak in front of an audience every week and this practice builds confidence, even if we aren’t very good at the start. Just getting up there is a confidence-booster!

      Have a grateful day!


  2. Easier said then done Chrysta!

    While reading this post I was thinking back to when I came online and had no confidence in myself at all because everything was so over my head. Sure, people kept telling me that I know more then some other people but it sure didn’t feel like it.

    It wasn’t until I worked with a spiritual life coach that she made me realize that I have to believe in myself. I had no problem doing that in the offline world but for some reason I was just so intimidated with all these people online because I just got the impression that they were so much smarter then me. I later learned that the majority of them were in the same place I was.

    Believing in yourself is a biggie and the turning point for me if you’re trying to gain confidence. We all start in the same spot so just know that all great things take time.

    Love this post and message, thank you for sharing it. Rock on everyone!


    • Thanks for your awesome comment, Adrienne! I really appreciated hearing your story about getting started online.

      When I know I don’t have a particular skill I must believe it’s possible for me to get there or I won’t even be able to try! Believing in yourself is essential for growth and progress!

      Comparing yourself to what you perceive other people have that you don’t is a sure-fire way to loose confidence. Even I fall into the comparison trap from time to time, especially when I see bloggers that I think are more successful than me. I can trick myself into thinking they’ve got something I don’t and that just isn’t true! Maybe in some cases they have a slightly different skill set but I know I have what it takes to be successful.

      It’s also helpful for me to remember I’m in a different place than a lot of bloggers- I work full time and don’t depend on blogging to generate income (at least not yet, anyway) so the effort I put into it is different than what someone else might put into blogging. I have to do the right things for me and believe in myself as it relates to my journey, not someone else’s!

      Thanks again for sharing your experience. You are such a joy! Have a grateful day!


Leave a Comment