“I don’t know, it just seems like you’re trying too hard,” she wrote.
That’s the feedback I received when I recently asked a colleague to look over my marketing materials.
At first I was angry. I thought, “what am I supposed to do with that?! That’s not good feedback!”
“Is there anything more annoying than nonspecific feedback,” I ranted to no one in particular.
Then it hit me.
The reason her feedback bothered me is because I was trying too hard. Yikes.
I looked back at my efforts the past few weeks and I realized the reason I was feeling frustrated and stuck was because I was trying too hard in just about every area of my business.
I call it the “I just need to work harder” mentality. Maybe you recognize this pattern in yourself.
When something isn’t working, do you try harder? Do you decide you need to do more? Do you say, “I just need to figure this out!”
Yes, my friends, all of those statemetns are variations on trying too hard. They’re also the patterns of people that try to control the uncontrollable.
Sure, we can call ourselves “determined”. We might describe ourselves as “hard working”, “thorough”, and even “results-oriented”. We may also call ourselves “stubborn”, “type A”, or “perfectionists“.
The problem with trying too hard is it’s not going to get results. Admit it, we feel better when we’re taking action, and “figuring it out” is just another way for us to distract ourselves from the pain of frustration, discomfort, or- gulp- failure.
The moment I realized I was trying too hard is when I realized I needed to stop trying too hard. I needed to do less, not more. Success happens when I doing the right things, not do more things. It’s about doing my best and forgetting the rest. All I have to do is take a deep breath, trust myself, and be myself.
Oh, so simple, isn’t it?
So tell me, friends, will you join me and stop trying too hard?
And while you’re at it, join my newsletter!