How to get what you want in life

Posted by on Jul 19, 2013 in Get your goals | 8 comments

What do you want in life- happiness, comfort, health, safety, success, love? I want all of these things, and more!

I used to think these things came to those who were most deserving, but I know I haven’t always gotten what I deserved.

For a time I thought these things came to those who did what they were supposed to do. I did all the things society told me to do and still I didn’t have what I wanted.

I thought maybe I could have these things if I worked really, really hard for them. So I worked hard and even made some progress but the more I pursued the result I wanted the more my physical and mental health declined.

All that time I was looking for the the things I wanted in life from the outside-in when the things I wanted in life really come from the inside-out. Today I don’t have it all. I do have enough, though. I have a good life, and that’s all I really wanted.

How to get what you want in life

Know yourself

I used to live most of my life reacting to whatever happened and I didn’t have much time or energy to stop and get to know myself. Today every day is a journey of self-discovery and I make conscious choices about my life from a place of wisdom and truth.

Know yourself, really know yourself. Know yourself without conceit or shame- don’t judge, just know the truth of you.

Accept yourself

There’s always something I’d like to improve upon, and pursuing a life of enrichment and growth makes my life worth living, but before progress comes acceptance. When I didn’t accept myself it was harder for me to move past where I was because I ignored or rejected myself as I truly am.

Accept yourself as you are, and all the experiences that brought you to this place- even if it’s not the place you want to be. If you don’t accept yourself completely you’ll have a harder time getting what you want.

Love yourself

A long time ago I didn’t like myself much. I focused on my shortcomings and imperfections and I didn’t make much progress on my goals because I was too discouraged to allow myself to succeed. Fortunately I learned to love myself, and progress followed.

Change isn’t built upon hate, only love. Love yourself, you deserve it, and it’s the basis of getting what you want!

Know what you want

For years I chased after the wrong things trying to get what I want. I didn’t really want an impressive-sounding corporate job- I wanted financial security. Turns out financial security didn’t come from a job- it came from my own budgeting and planning.

Think about what the life you want looks like and feels like to you. What does that job really mean to you? How will your life really be better once you get that raise? Why do you want that house/car/gadget and is it really going to meet your needs? Know what it is you really want, not just what you think represents your desires.

inspiration board

Visualize your dreams

I surround myself with words and images of my heart’s desire. I’m a big fan of vision boards– made with scissors, paper, and glue, or made with images, text, and technology. My vision board represents what I want and gives me inspiration and motivation every day.

Give a vision board a try! Collect images from magazines, calendars, and books, or collect images on the internet and use them in your screensaver or Pinterest board. Let your vision guide and inspire you!

Be intentional

I used to worry and stress and turned problems over and over and over in my mind. I thought about what I didn’t want and I attracted those very things to my life. When I focused on the things I wanted and I got those, too. Today I pay more attention to things I want then the things I don’t want. I choose my outlook and attitude.

Be intentional in your life. Wake up and decide what kind of day you’re going to have today. Ask yourself, do these words, thoughts, actions lead me to my dreams? Pursue those things that align with your goals and avoid those things that don’t.

Live for today

For years I thought I’d be happy when… when I got what I wanted. Since there’s always something to want I was left wanting. I started living for today and I got a whole lot happier with life exactly as it is today.

Pursuing the life you want is a wonderful exercise but don’t save up all your happiness for someday. Embrace the journey, love every moment, and live for today!

Want the life you got

Let me sum up everything I’ve learned about getting what I want in life- wanting the life I’ve got! If I can’t be even a little happy for all I have today then I’m not going to be happy with what I get tomorrow.

Be grateful! Look for rainbows! Find the hidden, and not-so-hidden, treasures in your life- embrace them! Want what you’ve got and you’ll get exactly what you want.

I love your comments! Do you usually get what you want? Do you want what you get?


  1. What an inspirational post. The “Accept yourself” rings true for me. Sometimes we need to remember that we can only do so much.

    • Thanks for this awesome comment, too!

      Acceptance is key for me to make progress and find any happiness in life. Sometimes I try to push forward without acceptance and I usually end up making poor choices that aren’t aligned with my ultimate goals. And, like you said, I can only do so much- it’s helpful to remember that.

      Have a fabulous day!


  2. I use to think the same thing Chrysta. Why do those people have what I want when I know I’m a better person then they are. Oh my goodness.

    Gosh, I don’t know now how long it’s been before I finally figured out that it all comes from within. I remember reading something a few years ago that said if you can sit quietly in a room all by yourself for an hour with no TV, book, phone, iPod, nothing. In the stillness of the room just quiet and be happy then you are truly in tune with yourself. I can do that, no problem.

    No one can make us happy but us, it comes from within. Once you are truly okay with yourself and understand this to the point that you’re going to be okay, everything else will start to fall into place.

    I’m sure you know yourself from your own experience that when all of that is in alignment then nothing else really seems that important and that’s when the things you have really wanted will start to appear. When you are out of that want stage and into the acceptance part.

    Wow, I sound like a life coach or something. Guess that means I’ve learned a lot right!

    Thanks for sharing this with us Chrysta and not being afraid to let us know what it really takes from your own experiences. That’s how we learn the best.

    Enjoy your week young lady!


    • Thanks for your awesome comment, Adrienne!

      I love your insight about being in alignment and things you want started to appear- yes, that’s it exactly! When we chase what we want, we never really feel satisfied because we always want something more. But when we’re really attuned to ourselves and our relationship with the world around us- that’s when things start to just flow, am I right?

      You certainly have learned a lot and no doubt your life is the better for it. I appreciate you sharing your experience and wisdom.

      Have a fantabulous week! (Yep, I just made that up!)


  3. Really enjoyed your post Chrysta! I especially liked “visualizing your dream” I keep note cards and other things in front of me throughout the day to remind me of where I want to go. I might need to get more creative with pictures like you have! Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks for your awesome comment, Luke!

      I love your idea of using note cards to remind you where you want to go- I may give it a try, too.

      So glad you stopped by! Have a grateful day!


  4. Hi Chrysta

    You are so right, what you want cannot provide happiness. May be temporary happiness, but not the kind that engulfs your life each and everyday. Money can provide peace of mind from worry about how you are going to survive, but it will not fill the soul with happiness. That was also hard for me to grasp. But being “financially challenged” put that in a totally different perspective of what happiness actually consisted of. I had a problem understanding how some people that were really poor could be so happy and then I got my answer when I woke up one morning it was all about being happy from the inside.

    Very well put.


    • Thanks for your awesome comment, Mary!

      It’s not really surprising we think getting what we want will make us happy- we have brands and advertisers spending billions of dollars telling us their product is what will make us happy, right? And then there’s movies and television where some person or situation comes along and changes the main character’s life for the better and they live happily ever after- only real life doesn’t work that way!

      I’ve been poor in my past- as a teenager my family was on welfare due to my single mother being disabled and unable to work. I definitely wasn’t poor and happy, yet the experience of being poor taught me how to live on so much less than many people think they need. Once I learned a few other life lessons it was easier for me to be happy without a lot of money, status, or things because I knew how to get by on so much less than that. Having a sustainable salary was all I really needed.

      I’m happy to hear you, too, learned to find happiness within. Thanks for sharing your experience!


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