For many years at different jobs I was the go-to gal, the most helpful person in the office. You have a problem? I am the problem-solver!
I dabbled in office equipment use and repair, IT, Microsoft Excel how-to, insurance, business law- you name it.
Need help with a special project? I can do that! Oh, sure, I can stay late. Bob called in sick again? I’ll cover Bob’s workload, no problem. I got this. You can count on me.
Once a co-worker wanted to take off 3 weeks during our busiest time of year. Her vacation request was approved because the owners were nice guys and wanted to accommodate her if at all possible. They didn’t understand or know the toll her absence would have on me.
I started to worry about how I would get all the work done by myself. I became extremely stressed. Then I realized no one had asked me to sacrifice my mental and physical health. Maybe I didn’t have to make it happen on my own.
I sent the owners an email detailing 2 options available to them. Option 1 included hiring a temporary employee to help while my co-worker was on vacation. Option 2 was being late on the reports that were due.
After I sent that email the owners decided my co-worker could not take 3 weeks off during our busiest time of year.
I didn’t have to do it all. I didn’t have to stretch my health to the limit. I chose not to allow myself to be taken advantage of.
For many years I went above and beyond what anyone else expected of me. I went above and beyond what I was paid to do. I went above and beyond any reasonable request and expectations- and most of the time the people I worked with didn’t even have to ask me to do it. I gave of myself until I didn’t have much left to give.
I was undervalued at work because I undervalued myself. I gave co-workers and clients permission to take advantage of me because I took advantage of myself.
I lacked healthy boundaries. I didn’t take care of myself. I took responsibility for things that were not my responsibility. I rarely, if ever, said no.
Allowing myself to be taken advantage of lead to increased stress, recurring health problems, and resentment of my co-workers and clients. I lived and worked that way for too long.
I was talking with a friend who hates her job and has a similar pattern of undervaluing herself, accepting less than she’s worth and doing more work for it.
She’s looking to change jobs and was considering accepting a position making $12,000 less than her salary requirement with fewer benefits than her current job.
This is how it happens.
We allow ourselves to be taken advantage of when we accept a job offer significantly below our salary requirement. Once in the job, we do far more than we were hired to do.
We ask for the raise we were promised and we grumble but continue to work our asses off when the promised raise doesn’t come through.
When other employees leave the company, we take on a portion of their work. Maybe we even take it all on.
It’s time to break this pattern. It’s time to set boundaries.
Stop doing work you haven’t been asked to do.
Stop agreeing to unreasonable requests.
Stop accepting less than you are worth.
Start believing in yourself. You can start by joining my group for regular inspiration and motivation to create positive and healthy habits at work and beyond!