Professional Development

How to believe in yourself when life gets hard

Posted by on May 2, 2017 in Achieving Goals, Personal Development, Professional Development | 0 comments

It’s easy to believe in yourself when things are going well. When you’ve just been hired in an exciting new job, when you sign your first client, when you start a new relationship. Everything seems possible. The world is open to you and good things are happening.

But what about those times when things aren’t going well? When you’ve been unemployed for months and your savings is running low, when you have zero clients and the mortgage is due, when you just ended a relationship that you thought was the one. In times like these it’s harder to believe in what is possible. It’s harder to trust. It’s harder to believe in yourself.

The best lesson I’ve learned since launching my business full-time is to always believe in myself. To remember than no matter what is happening in life, the world is open to me and good things will happen. To stay on track, on task, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

The problem is when life gets hard, the temptation is to shut down. To isolate. To withdraw. It seems like the sensible thing to do. But it’s not really sensible at all.

It happens to me. I get discouraged when things aren’t going well and I am tempted to limit myself. I am tempted to limit my activities, my spending, my choices. But when I limit myself, I limit my ability to believe in myself. I limit my ability to create something better.

Believing in myself is not something I do alone. I surround myself with colleagues, mentors, and coaches- people who believe in what’s possible for me. People who provide accountability, strategy, and see the greatness in me.

I spent years of my life in poverty and plenty of people didn’t believe in me. And that’s why people who are impoverished tend to stay that way. They are not only struggling to survive the day-to-day, they have no one to believe in them.

Against all odds, I believed in myself, even as a young girl. I believed I was meant for something better and I was determined to create a better life for myself.

That determination served me well, helping me build a successful life, career, and business despite many challenges and setbacks. My success didn’t come from my effort alone. I studied with great masters, even when it was only through books. I took advantage of every opportunity to learn, to grow, to take classes, to be mentored, to be supported. When I started my business, I hired a coach to support my business growth.

That’s the secret to believing in yourself- you don’t do it alone. 

In my work as a Career Coach I talk to people who need support- people who want support- and they don’t accept it. They have a million reasons to keep on as they are. They are overwhelmed or nervous or uncertain. They tell themselves they need to “figure it out”. They tell themselves they can do it alone. They tell themselves they have to wait until one thing or another falls into place before they can accept help. They’ll get help when…..

If you’re struggling to believe in yourself, find someone to believe in you. Seek out support and risk something to get it. Risk your time or your money or your fear of failure. Believe in yourself at least enough to be supported.

You’ve got a lot of potential. You are going to do amazing things. The world is waiting for you.

I believe in you. Do you believe in yourself? Schedule your complimentary Love Your Career coaching call.

believe in yourself

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Why it’s better to receive than to give

Posted by on Apr 18, 2017 in Personal Development, Professional Development | 0 comments

My biggest lesson this past year has been learning it is better to receive than give. This is the lesson that has contributed the most to my business success.

Yeah, you read that right, I said it is better to RECEIVE than GIVE.

I was raised to believe the opposite is true- that is better to give than receive. And am I ever a giver. I give and give and give. I give to everyone and everything. If I have anything leftover, I’ll give a little to myself, too. But therein lies one of my problems, you see, I was giving to myself last.

Putting myself last meant I had poor work-life balance. My health suffered. I was burned out at work.  And, this giving behavior was limiting my potential. I recently realized I need to be a lot more selfish if I’m going to achieve my BIG DREAMS.

I was so busy giving, I never really learned to receive. In fact, I suck at receiving.

I deflect compliments. On the rare occasion I accept a compliment, I will immediately return your compliment with gratitude so I don’t really have to let it in. Or maybe sometimes I’ll allow your appreciation in if I know really, really earned it.

I’m uncomfortable being the center of attention. I am a better hostess than guest.

I will go above and beyond for you, but I don’t really need much help, thanks. I only want what’s fair, and maybe then I’ll still feel a little guilty for whatever I get.

My worth is valued by how much I give. I can only receive as part of an exchange and you’ll probably get more than you give with me.

You see what I mean. I suck at receiving.

What does it mean to receive?

verb | re·ceive |\ri-ˈsēv\

1:  to come into possession of

2
:  to act as a receptacle or container for

3
a :  to permit to enter :  admit
b :  welcome, greet
c :  to react to in a specified manner

4
:  to accept as authoritative, true, or accurate :  believe

5
a :  to support the weight or pressure of :  bear
b :  to take (a mark or impression ) from the weight of something

In order to receive, I have to come into possession of your appreciation. Worse yet, I have to act as a receptacle or container for you admiration. I have to admit and welcome your praise. I have to believe your compliments and accept them as truth. I have to support the weight of your gratitude.

Why is receiving such an important skill?

Because to be successful in life we have to receive.

We have to be comfortable receiving appreciation from our clients and colleagues. We have to believe it’s true. We have to allow other people’s admiration bolster us- to embolden us!

We have to receive so we can move forward even when we’re scared. So we feel encouraged to take the next big leap. So we can stretch the limits of our comfort zone and grow into our full potential.

Are you living up to your potential? How are you at receiving? What could you accomplish if you were better at receiving?

Learning how to receive

I’ve been learning to receive through the Art of Feminine Presence® body of work. If you’re ready to receive inspiration, impact, and income, I’m starting a series of Art of Feminine Presence® classes in Fort Collins in May. Join me for the introductory class.

In the pursuit of a career, or having to take care of so many people around them, many women have disconnected from their feminine essence and their personal presence without realizing it. This affects everything. From fulfillment in our work, the state of our health, and to the unfortunate situation of women competing against women everywhere.

This class is for empowered women who:

  • Want to show up in a bigger way
  • Are afraid of putting themselves out there, even though they know they want more from life
  • Are wanting to increase their income through their business or career
  • Want to stop people from draining their energy

In this class you’ll learn:

  • A simple practice to instantly gain respect and recognition from colleagues and clients
  • How to make a great impression in new situations like networking groups, interviews, and sales conversations
  • Learn to follow your “higher guidance” rather than push to make things happen.

Claim your spot today!

receiving beauty power strength

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Setting goals for the new year!

Posted by on Dec 20, 2016 in Achieving Goals, Personal Development, Professional Development | 0 comments

As we approach the end of the year many people start thinking about their goals for the new year. I’m thinking about mine and, let me tell you, I have big plans for 2017, including polishing my TEDx talk, growing my business, and writing a book! Whew!

What about you? Did you accomplish what you wanted in 2016? What do you want to be different next year? What do you want to do in 2017?

If you need some help setting your goals for the new year, I’ve got some great resources for you!

6 Tips for setting and achieving your goals for 2017!

01. Set goals that matter

Set goals based on what you want to create, not what you want to get. Let me explain… Let’s say you want a new job in 2017. Why do you want a new job? What does that mean for you? Maybe your motivation is to enjoy a more flexible work schedule, or to make more money, or do work you love. Knowing why your goal matters to you can help you stay on track and even help you find alternate paths to create the life you really want.

02. Identify your one-word goal

Come up with one word that signifies the life you want to create in the new year. Let that one word guide your goals, your choices, and your actions throughout the year.

03. Avoid goal-setting mistakes

Avoid these 5 goal setting mistakes, such as setting goals motivated by shame, comparison, a false sense of happiness, basing your goals on your dreams, and being too results-focused.

04. Create a vision board to guide you

Vision boards are a great way to focus and motivate yourself throughout the  year! A vision board is a visual representation of the goals you’re working to achieve. Looking at your vision board every day can keep you on track and inspired every day!

05. Say no to requests that are not aligned with your goals

When you say yes to one thing, you say no to something else- usually yourself! This year, consider yourself first! Say no to requests and opportunities that will take you away from your goals instead of towards your goals.

6. Get help setting and achieving your goals!

If you’re not where you want to be in your career, get unstuck and uncover your next career move. Download the worksheet to get clarity, focus, and direction on your career goals for 2017!

get-unstuck

Click here to get the worksheet!

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My best career tip

Posted by on Nov 15, 2016 in Business Management, Career Management, Personal Development, Professional Development | 0 comments

As a Career Coach, I work with career professionals and entrepreneurs who are looking to level up. They are usually looking for work or looking to increase their income. There are lots of tools and support I use to work with clients to help them reach their goals.

There is one tip I give every client I work with.

That’s right, one piece of advice that works for everyone in every situation! This advice works for everyone equally.

Now when I tell you what it is, you might think I’m crazy. You might protest, “but, Chrysta, what does this have to do with finding a job, getting a raise, getting clients?!”

So I hope you’ll bear with me for a minute here because I promise you, it works. And it might not be what you think. I encourage you to be open to the tip I’m about to share.

Before I tell you, I want to share how it’s worked in my life- very specifically the last two weeks.

A LOT has happened in the last two weeks. The floor drain backed up and partially flooded our basement. Then it was my husband’s birthday party, followed by his birthday. A few days later I participated in a 2-day event I’ve been planning for 6 months. While I was out-of-town at the event, my cat went missing. That weekend I moved into my new office. The very next day our garage door opener broke. A few days after that we found my cat.

That’s a lot to happen in two months, let alone two weeks. And through it all I stayed relatively balanced, centered, and ready to face the day. How did I do it? From this simple tip I have to share with you.

Are you ready?

best-career-tip

My best career tip is to start a regular gratitude practice. Write a daily gratitude list and I do mean write- put it down on paper. Take 60 seconds each day to pause, reflect, and be grateful.

Yep, that’s it. Be grateful.

Still skeptical? Let me tell you why it works.

A regular gratitude practice gives you something positive and hopeful to hold onto no matter what happens in your day. In this way gratitude is an anchor to the good stuff in your life.

Gratitude tempers the highs and lows, the ups and downs. Gratitude helps you connect to the present, grounding you in good things you have right here, right now.

Gratitude also boosts your energy and mood, giving you an extra reserve of motivation, and helping you face challenges as they come.

I’ve heard lots of advice from successful entrepreneurs and gurus that suggest starting a variety of daily habits- from getting up early, to daily exercise, to meditation. It’s true, all of these positive habits will help you be more successful. But what I like about starting a gratitude practice is it’s so easy to do! The best thing about starting a gratitude practice is it takes very little time and everyone can do it. Gratitude will help you be more successful in all you do!

So, that’s it. Start a regular gratitude practice. Write down a gratitude list every day. Notice the difference in your overall attitude, energy level, and ability to handle problems.

If you get discouraged, start a gratitude practice.

If you’re feeling stressed, start a gratitude practice.

If your energy is low, start a gratitude practice.

If you’re feeling great, start a gratitude practice.

It won’t solve your problems but it will help you be prepared to solve them. Give it a try and see what happens!

If you find this advice helpful, sign up for my newsletter and get more tips, tricks, and positive motivation!

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Take a leap of faith

Posted by on Oct 18, 2016 in Personal Development, Professional Development | 0 comments

When was the last time you did something that excited you? How about the last time you did something that scared you? Have you felt exhilarated in the last year? The last 6 months?

Maybe you’re not a risk-taker. I get it. You’d rather be comfy. Maybe you’re a comfortador. (Points to those of you that caught that Buffy reference.)

The thing about comfort is, well, it’s comfortable. We’re really good at convincing ourselves that things aren’t so bad here. I mean, sure, you don’t like your job, you’re living paycheck-to-paycheck, but it’s tolerable. It’s comfortable.

Let me ask you, what are you tolerating?

You’ve got to jump

This weekend I attended Awaken Your Impact, a transformational 3-day live, or should I say life-changing, event. For 3 days Rachael Jayne Groover prepared us for our next jump. The next jump in our live, the next jump in our business.

“If you want to be successful, here’s the thing you have to do. You have to jump.” – Steve Harvey

At the start of the weekend  she showed us this short video from Steve Harvey:

So let me ask you another question, what do you want in your life? Do you feel the desire of the life that’s calling you? Are you tired of tolerating? Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone into your growth zone? Are you ready to jump?

Maybe you’re reading this and you really are a comfortador. Hey, that’s okay. I respect that.

Or maybe you’re reading this and you know you’re meant for something bigger and better.

Signs it’s time to take a leap of faith

You want more from your life

You know you were meant to do something amazing

You’re not afraid to try something new

You learn new skills quickly

You feel the itch to change jobs every few years

You see successful people and you know if they can do it, so can you

You have lots of ideas

You daydream

You’re stuck

You’re confused

You keep telling yourself you’re going to jump when it’s safe to do so

You keep telling yourself you’re going to jump when the outcome is guaranteed

You’re sick of making excuses

You’re scared to jump and a little excited, too

You are broke

You are bored

You are depressed

You are comfortable

leap-of-faith

How to take a leap of faith

Just jump.

I left Dallas ready to take my next few jumps. My first jump is to own my specialness, which I did today, on video, for all the world to see. o.O

My next jump is to launch my signature coaching program. It’s coming soon!

So tell me, what’s your next jump?

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Does It Work To Fake It ’til You Make It?

Posted by on Sep 20, 2016 in Achieving Goals, Personal Development, Professional Development | 0 comments

Can you “fake it ’til you make it” in life? What about your career?

Fake it ’til you make it is a practice that suggests you act “as if” something is true until it is true.

The idea of fake it ’til you make it is similar to positive affirmations. You repeat a positive message or statement, giving that idea your attention and intention. Positive affirmations take an idea or belief and give it focus and meaning in your life.

Fake it ’til you make it is a way to encourage, motivate, and change yourself for the better.

So does it work?

Well, yes and no.

fake-it-til-you-make-it

When it works to fake it ’til you make it

Fake it ’til you make it is a great practice when you’re trying to change your own attitude or behavior. Change is hard and sometimes you have to act as if you’re already changed before you actually change.

For example, let’s say you’re trying to build your confidence around a new skill. When you tell yourself, “I can do this”, you’ll believe it’s true, even if you’re still nervous or uncertain. You’ve planted a seed of confidence within you.

Next you stand up tall, holding your head high- a sure sign of confidence! Okay, maybe the butterflies in your stomach are really bats. The physical cue of standing tall moves your body and mind towards feeling confident.

Faking confidence helps you be more confident.

In another example, let’s say you want to create a new, positive habit. You want to stop complaining and be more grateful. You can absolutely fake it ’til you make it!

If you have a habit of complaining, your thought patterns are conditioned to notice and lament the negative. You do it without thinking- but this is pattern you want to change!

So you act as if you are grateful. You write a gratitude list when you’re sure it’s all a bunch of bullshit. You say “thank you” even when you aren’t feeling appreciative. You compliment a co-worker on a job well done, even when you think they could have done better and you know exactly how they can improve.

You adopt an attitude of gratitude and, in doing so, you condition yourself to notice and praise the positive. You turn your complaining habit into a thankful habit!

How do I know it works? Because I learned to get good at public speaking by telling myself “I can do this” and standing tall every time I was on stage. I stopped complaining and starting being grateful by acting grateful, even when I didn’t feel especially grateful at the start.

And it hasn’t just worked for me. It’s worked for my clients, too. Though some of them were skeptical at first, they soon found that you can change your own attitudes and behaviors by faking it ’til you make it!

When it doesn’t work to fake it ’til you make it

Fake it ’til you make it doesn’t work when you’re trying to change someone else’s attitudes or behaviors. For example, if you want other people to see you as friendly, faking friendliness usually has the opposite effect! It just doesn’t work to try to influence or control what other people think of you.

I attended an Art of Feminine Presence class and in that class the teacher instructed us to think about what quality we most want to project when in a social or networking situation. I want people to see me as approachable and friendly, but when I tried to project friendliness in class the feedback I got was not so friendly!

Trying to fake it is not an effective tool to change someone else. Well, let’s face it, there’s no method that will change someone else’s thoughts or behaviors. It’s better to keep the focus on yourself, being your best version of yourself, and being the generally awesome person you are!

Have you tried to fake it ’til you make it? When has it worked for you? When hasn’t it worked for you? Let’s start a conversation- leave your comments below!

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