Whoops, fear it is

Posted by on Aug 30, 2013 in Personal Development | 5 comments

I’ll be honest, most of my life fear has played a big role in my choices, and my life. Fear has good intentions and all, but let’s face it, 99.9% of the decisions I make are not life-or-death decisions and I don’t really need fear to survive.

At the beginning of the year I decided this was the year I was going to live fearlessly, or at the very least fear-less-ly. I’ve made several fearless choices, such as resigning a job at which I was burned out despite not having another job lined up yet, and accepting a part-time job to improve my work-life balance. So far this year I’ve been telling my fear to suck it! Until last week.

Last week I found myself in over my head. Taking on more than I can handle seemed like a perfectly good topic for a blog post, complete with tips on how to handle this precarious situation. I came up with specific tips to address the situation and I did exactly none of them. My attempts to be superwoman even though I know I’m not superwoman resulted in me getting sick. Still I soldiered on, of course making myself even sicker- sick to the point I found myself choking back tears of exhaustion and frustration.

When I realized I had made choice after choice that made me sicker and sicker I knew I had to come clean with myself and the world. The reason I didn’t take the advice I shared in my blog post was because I let my fear get the better of me.

live with intentionImage courtesy of F.C. Photography

Fear that setting boundaries would make others think I’m unreasonable. Fear that putting my health first would indicate I’m not capable or reliable. Fear that I would disappoint someone out there somewhere, and somehow that disappointment would lead to- to what I’m not really sure, but I was sure it was going to be bad.

Only it wasn’t. And none of those fears were thoughtful, honest, inspiring, necessary, or kind. None of those fears were real.

So here I am, admitting to myself and the world that despite writing a work-life balance blog, sometimes I stumble. I guess the good thing about stumbling is it reminds me all over again what is and isn’t important in life. Living an awesome balanced life – important. Pretty much everything else is not really that important when it comes down to it.

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5 Comments

  1. Hi Chrysta

    I think we like to convince ourselves we are fearless, but life gets in the way and before you know it you are back into the same pattern you vowed to have abolished. Once we are aware of how we fail ourselves we can more likely correct it sooner.

    You have made giant steps and knowing you have tripped up is just reinforcing the issue of remembering when to stop the madness much sooner.

    Being gripped by fear over what others take for granted and then conquering little by little becomes a big milestone. I do take time out to honor my milestones. But you know many have fears that we don’t have and they could be one of the persons we consider fearless. Our own fears make us feel broken and silly, especially when you think others don’t have those.

    Very good post.

    Mary

    • Thanks so much for your comment, Mary!

      First off, I want to apologize for replying late- I just got back from vacation and I’m catching up on all things blog related. A much needed vacation, I might add!

      I love your insights on this. As you said, we can’t always make the best possible choice- especially when we unexpectedly find ourselves in a difficult situation- sometimes in that moment the best we can do is get through it. But the option to correct or trajectory exists in every moment and with greater awareness we can get better at recognizing when we’re off course and adjust as necessary.

      I also really love your suggestion to celebrate milestones- so important! I can never expect to be perfect, but I can enjoy my progress!

      Have a grateful day!

      Chrysta

  2. Ah, fear! It is one tricky part of life!

    I try to depict fear as my friend. Embrace my fears 😀 It has helped me to get over many of my fears (But, I am still struggling with many of my fears – such as fear of darkness).

    How many of us stick to the plan anyways? When it comes to situations, our fears can make us forget about the choices we have. They have the ability to make us choose the one we really don’t want to choose (I suppose that would explain why in many horror movies, the characters run towards the darkest part of the house :D).

    But, I suppose it is okay to be afraid, to stumble. Like you mentioned, it reminds us of various things in life – what’s important and what’s not.

    Hope you feel better soon, Chrysta!

    • Hi Jeevan, thanks so much for your comment! (This one got caught in the spam filter, too- bad spam filter!)

      You’re so right- you really can’t stick to the plan in life because life rarely goes according to plan. The best way to live life is to engage and interact life, and make the best of what’s in front of us! It’s okay to stumble, too, because it keeps us on focused on the right things.

      Have a grateful day!

      Chrysta

      • It’s all alright :)

        Indeed. The problems we face in our lives makes us stronger (of course, we do have to face them, running away from them isn’t going to cut it).

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