We’ve all had really bad jobs, and worse bosses. Jobs where we are overworked, undervalued, and underpaid. Jobs were we deal with difficult, or even toxic co-workers, and jobs that burned us out.
Yeah, I’ve been there, you’ve been there. Some jobs are so bad the only option is to do your best to get through each day until you find something better. You don’t need me to tell you about those jobs- you already know about them.
Most of the time, however, it’s not your job that sucks but your attitude towards your job that sucks. A bold statement, literally and figuratively, and I assure you I’m speaking from experience here.
The majority of my pain and suffering is self-inflicted- not intentionally, of course, but as the result of negative thinking and negative habits. Negative thinking and negative habits lead to stress, conflict, unhappiness, and extreme job suckage. Break out of your rut and get more out of your job and your life!
Sometimes complaining helps resolve problems but most of the time complaining only serves to keep you, and everyone around you, focused on what isn’t working instead of what is. The more you focus on what isn’t working, the more you notice every little thing that isn’t working.
Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, try focusing on what’s right! Don’t repeat your complaints (say them only once if you absolutely have to), and do repeat your compliments!
Keeping tabs, and scorecards, on your co-workers is an effective way to create unhappiness in your job. You want to know why?- because you have absolutely no control over what anyone else says, thinks, or does- talk about a losing battle! You’ll constantly feel like the objects of your attention has all the attention and power and they do- at the very least they certainly have yours.
Keeping your attention on your work and your professional growth will yield far better results. Do your best work, be your best, and you’ll experience a greater sense of satisfaction from your work and greater professional success!
Every time you compare yourself to others you hurt yourself. You think you’re better oor worse than someone else- either way you marginalize your unique talents and skills by giving more mental power to your judgements than your work.
What if you stopped comparing and capitalized on your strengths? Take pride in your work, show and build the qualities that make you a kick-ass employee! Who cares what anyone else is doing- what are you doing?
If you have trouble saying no you’re likely to experience frustration, anger, resentment, and burnout- yuck, no wonder your job sucks!
Say no when you’re honestly unable or unwilling to agree to a request and, believe me, your co-workers will respect you and you’ll have the resources to do your best work and enjoy work more.
Let’s say you think you know better than your co-workers, or worse, your boss. Maybe you do, maybe you don’t, but when you assume you know better you’re definitely making an ass out of “u”!
What if you think you can or can’t do something even though no one has directly said you can or can’t. When you assume you predetermine the outcome and fail to even consider the alternatives.
Every time you make assumptions you limit your opportunity to learn, to change, and grow. Don’t assume- challenge your assumptions. Ask questions! Be thoughtful and curious. Be awesome!
You’ll finally be happy at work when…. when you get the promotion you want, when you get a raise, when your boss listens to your ideas, when you get the credit you deserve, etc., etc., etc. If you’re waiting for things to go your way before you’ll be happy, well, I’ve got bad news for you, you’ve got a lot of waiting in your future.
What if you were happy just because you are happy? What if you were confident, happy, and satisfied with yourself and doing your best work, and that was enough? What if you stopped waiting for life to get good and made the most of the good that’s already there?
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Letting go of negative attitudes and habits is easier said than done but it is possible. Embrace the possibility! If you catch yourself repeating attitudes and behaviors that make your job suck you can, at any moment, choose to think, do, or be something positive instead. Keep it up and you may just find your job doesn’t suck. Maybe your job is pretty okay. Maybe your job is even great!
I love your comments! What other self-defeating attitudes and habits lead to unhappiness at work?
When I’m off-balance, there’s one thing I do to get centered. When I feel angry, frustrated, anxious, or burned out, there’s one thing I do to feel better. When I feel happy and life is going well, there’s one thing I do to enjoy the moment and create more of the same. That one thing is self care.
What is self care, exactly? It’s attending to my emotional, mental, and physical needs- it’s taking care of me.
Everything else and everyone else comes first. We put our to-do list before ourselves. Sometimes we expect other people to meet our needs and all-too-often our needs go unmet because many of us are simply struggling to get by.
Last weekend I attended TEDxFoCo and I was not disappointed by the thoughtful and inspiring talks on the topic of Life Worth Living. Out of all the fantastic talks there was one, in particular, that struck a resounding chord of truth within me.
Photographer Christina Gressianu spoke on Beauty and How We’re Obsessed With The Wrong Idea. What makes us beautiful is not about how we dress up the outside but how we nurture the inside. It’s not even our character that makes us beautiful but rather self-nourishment and self-enrichment that make us healthy and happy.
Health is beauty- physical health, emotional health, mental health. Health doesn’t come without effort- we must choose health, we must take care of our health by taking care of ourselves.
“How I feel about myself feeds how I take care of myself. How I take care of myself feeds how I feel about myself.” ~Christina Gressianu
What would happen if we were self-loving and self-caring? If you’re like me, you’ll start living a life that fills you up instead of wears you out and tears you down. The most important thing you do today is take care of you.
Today I invite you to stop working from the outside in and work from the inside out. Practice a little- or a lot!- of self-care. Feed your heart, mind, and body with goodness.
I’ll leave you with one more awesome quote from TEDxFoCo:
“Your self worth is directly proportional to your self work.” ~Melissa Harms
Photo credit: Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos
For years I hung on to bad habits that made my life a lot harder than it needed to be. While I was a positive and optimistic individual, I continued to cause myself a lot of discomfort and suffering because of my habits.
I started living a better life when I replaced negative habits with positive habits. I had to change my ways and practice healthy mental, emotional, and physical habits every day to get to a place where life was pretty great- even when things weren’t going my way. Sure, I still have some good days and some bad days but these days there’s more good than bad and the bad aren’t usually all that bad.
I’m going to tell you what worked for me, but feel free to come up with your own positive habits that improve your life. It’s not too late to start creating positive habits in your life.
Photo credit: Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos
Gratitude is the cure for what ails you- no matter what’s going on in your life. If you pause the hustle and bustle and be thankful for the good stuff you realize your life is actually pretty good- even great! There’s always something to be thankful for.
Think you need life to go your way to be happy? Think again!
Often simply making the conscious choice to be happy makes you feel a little happier. So does smiling! If you want to be happy, smile more.
Do you feel like you’re usually at odds with the people in your life? Being kind is a wonderful way to improve your relationships. Everyone deserves kindness- don’t you?
Kindness towards others is sure to improve your mood, too!
A lot of suffering you cause yourself happens when you worry about what everyone else is doing or not doing. You cause yourself pain by trying to advise, convince, and control other people. Focus on living your own best life and you’ll suffer a lot less.
And while you’re minding your business- stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking and feeling, too. Ninety percent of the time what someone else is thinking or feeling has absolutely nothing to do with you or what they think about you. It’s not about you- really, it isn’t!
You’re never going to get different results by doing the same thing. If you don’t like how your life is going, try something new!
Say “no”, say “yes”. Ask for help, ask for more responsibility. Speak up, shut up. Whatever you would normally do, try a different approach- you never know what will happen if you haven’t tried it!
People label life events as positive or negative but many situations are really neutral- neither good or bad but your judgment makes it so.
Cut off on the highway- so what? Why is your life suddenly deemed bad because of this minor annoyance? Your co-worker was late for work again? How is this really your problem unless you make it your problem?
That goes for pre-judging, too. You know, when you decide how something will go before it happens? What, you’re psychic now? Remember, a positive outcome is just as likely as a negative one.
The more you focus on what’s wrong, the more life feels all wrong.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- stop complaining. You’ll be so much happier, I promise!
You deserve a good life and the only person that can make that happen is you! The way you make it happen is by putting yourself first.
Now I’m not talking about putting yourself first at the expense of others, but you can take good care of yourself and meet your own needs before the needs of others.
Self care is the most important thing you can to do create a great life! People often look to others to meet their needs but that never really works, does it?
Yes, you need other people sometimes, but if you can’t be what you need for yourself then chances are no one else can be that for you. For example, if you don’t love you, you can’t really accept love from others.
Confidence doesn’t come from being perfect or getting it right the first time; confidence comes from doing your best and making progress.
Sometimes you have to stop and just embrace this moment. Yeah, you have goals and ambitions and you want to improve your life- great!- but it’s okay to just be. After all, you’re a human being, not a human doing.